Comments on: To Tell or Not to Tell… About Your Bipolar Disorder http://finkshrink.com/blog/career/to-tell-or-not-to-tell%e2%80%a6-about-your-bipolar-disorder.html Information and support Sat, 05 Jul 2008 19:45:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: dugg http://finkshrink.com/blog/career/to-tell-or-not-to-tell%e2%80%a6-about-your-bipolar-disorder.html#comment-383 dugg Sun, 25 Nov 2007 09:23:08 +0000 http://finkshrink.com/blog/career/to-tell-or-not-to-tell%e2%80%a6-about-your-bipolar-disorder.html#comment-383 After some years of looking for help, I was diagnosed as bipolar 2 after several sessions with one of the most highly regarded practitioners in the city (much of his practice is other doctors and health practitioners). There was the usual experimental period to find my current modest mix of medications and I'm really glad to be more or less functional so much more of the time these days. I told the people I work for, and I've told others that I work closely with here and across the country. In some ways it wasn't a big deal- I think having grown up around nurses (mom, aunt, their friends) I was raised with a pretty pragmatic approach to health and health care issues including methods of treatment, and that's the tone I used when I told them. That said, I think for some of them it just went right past them- not that they don't care but they don't really know what it is. Going into a recitation on my history, symptoms and treatment didn't seem appropriate then, but now I'm starting to think that it might be a good next step. Our organization is going thru some changes, and some of the next steps being proposed just aren't going to work for me because I am bipolar and I am on medication and that's not going to change- but if these next steps don't take these two simple facts into consideration, then the current proposed "solutions" are not going to work like they seem to think they will... and I'll end up being perceived as someone with an attitude, as opposed to someone with a medical condition. Drawing attention to it again, and giving them a few details as to symptoms etc is pretty scary actually because these people can have a huge influence on my livelihood, my ability to provide for my family and on to self esteem, etc etc. In most cases, though, when I have told people I haven't been scared about it... even when I see the weird changes and unfavourable reactions in their eyes as I do. I totally agree with those who say NOT saying anything is way worse. It sustains all the dark power that ignorance can breed, and gives these words far more weight than they should have. After some years of looking for help, I was diagnosed as bipolar 2 after several sessions with one of the most highly regarded practitioners in the city (much of his practice is other doctors and health practitioners).
There was the usual experimental period to find my current modest mix of medications and I’m really glad to be more or less functional so much more of the time these days.
I told the people I work for, and I’ve told others that I work closely with here and across the country. In some ways it wasn’t a big deal- I think having grown up around nurses (mom, aunt, their friends) I was raised with a pretty pragmatic approach to health and health care issues including methods of treatment, and that’s the tone I used when I told them.
That said, I think for some of them it just went right past them- not that they don’t care but they don’t really know what it is. Going into a recitation on my history, symptoms and treatment didn’t seem appropriate then, but now I’m starting to think that it might be a good next step.
Our organization is going thru some changes, and some of the next steps being proposed just aren’t going to work for me because I am bipolar and I am on medication and that’s not going to change- but if these next steps don’t take these two simple facts into consideration, then the current proposed “solutions” are not going to work like they seem to think they will… and I’ll end up being perceived as someone with an attitude, as opposed to someone with a medical condition.
Drawing attention to it again, and giving them a few details as to symptoms etc is pretty scary actually because these people can have a huge influence on my livelihood, my ability to provide for my family and on to self esteem, etc etc.
In most cases, though, when I have told people I haven’t been scared about it… even when I see the weird changes and unfavourable reactions in their eyes as I do. I totally agree with those who say NOT saying anything is way worse. It sustains all the dark power that ignorance can breed, and gives these words far more weight than they should have.

]]> By: Joe http://finkshrink.com/blog/career/to-tell-or-not-to-tell%e2%80%a6-about-your-bipolar-disorder.html#comment-143 Joe Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:01:30 +0000 http://finkshrink.com/blog/career/to-tell-or-not-to-tell%e2%80%a6-about-your-bipolar-disorder.html#comment-143 When my wife's moods are stabilized, she functions like her old self and is sorry for how she acted when she was ill. I always have to think about that when I get angry with her over what she says and does when she's manic or teetering on the edge of mania. Trying to separate the disorder from the person is terribly difficult for loved ones. It must be even more difficult for the person who has bipolar disorder. Try to be patient with yourself. Treat the bipolar disorder first. Sort out the other stuff when your moods are more stable. When my wife’s moods are stabilized, she functions like her old self and is sorry for how she acted when she was ill. I always have to think about that when I get angry with her over what she says and does when she’s manic or teetering on the edge of mania. Trying to separate the disorder from the person is terribly difficult for loved ones. It must be even more difficult for the person who has bipolar disorder. Try to be patient with yourself. Treat the bipolar disorder first. Sort out the other stuff when your moods are more stable.

]]> By: Phil http://finkshrink.com/blog/career/to-tell-or-not-to-tell%e2%80%a6-about-your-bipolar-disorder.html#comment-142 Phil Wed, 24 Oct 2007 15:20:59 +0000 http://finkshrink.com/blog/career/to-tell-or-not-to-tell%e2%80%a6-about-your-bipolar-disorder.html#comment-142 Please read all the following. It has a twist at the end. I recently talked to a guy, someone I used to call a friend, who says he is bipolar. Now, this guy seems smart enough, and able enough to me. He has accomplished many things in his life, but he often starts things he doesn't finish, too. He always seems to come just short of really completing anything right...the way it should be done. He told me about how depressed he gets, then how he will go on a binge of doing everything and anything he can get into for a while, then for a month or so he just doesn't feel like getting out of bed. So I told him, "Old buddy, you have to get over it...and get over yourself. Your problem is that it's all about you. If you don't get just exactly what you want, you lay down and quit. You are lazy. That's what it is. I've seen you do some really great things. Just look at that beautiful deck you built. Man, you've just about remodeled your whole house, but it's taken you years to do it. Me, I like to get in, get things done, and get out of it. You work a while, then quit a while. It's the same on the job." (I work with this guy) "You work hard, and get a lot done for a week or so, then you start showing up late, looking like you just got out of bed, and barely carry your weight at work. Are you drinking heavily in the evenings? Even your girlfriend says you are really hard to get along with sometimes, because she tries to get you to do something, and you just get angry with her. She's a sweet gal. She deserves better. You, my ex-friend, are a loser. All this 'biplar' crap was invented by shrinks to make money. They diagnose everyone with biplar these days, because you can't prove it one way or another, and they can have you on the hook, paying psych bills forever. Bipolar! Right! It's just an excuse, fella, and the sooner you stop making excuses and just stick with life, not give up every time something doesn't go your way, the better. Think of your friends and family! Well, do what you want, but as for me, I'm just about done with you. As far as I'm concerned, you might as well be dead. You are no good to me or anyone else." After I finished talking, I realized that the guy was not saying anything back...nothing at all. He just looked back at me, as though he agreed with everything I said. Then he hung his head for the longest time. Then I looked back up at my reflection in the mirror. Tears were flowing. "Is it true?" Please read all the following. It has a twist at the end.

I recently talked to a guy, someone I used to call a friend, who says he is bipolar. Now, this guy seems smart enough, and able enough to me. He has accomplished many things in his life, but he often starts things he doesn’t finish, too. He always seems to come just short of really completing anything right…the way it should be done.
He told me about how depressed he gets, then how he will go on a binge of doing everything and anything he can get into for a while, then for a month or so he just doesn’t feel like getting out of bed.
So I told him, “Old buddy, you have to get over it…and get over yourself. Your problem is that it’s all about you. If you don’t get just exactly what you want, you lay down and quit. You are lazy. That’s what it is. I’ve seen you do some really great things. Just look at that beautiful deck you built. Man, you’ve just about remodeled your whole house, but it’s taken you years to do it. Me, I like to get in, get things done, and get out of it. You work a while, then quit a while. It’s the same on the job.” (I work with this guy) “You work hard, and get a lot done for a week or so, then you start showing up late, looking like you just got out of bed, and barely carry your weight at work. Are you drinking heavily in the evenings?
Even your girlfriend says you are really hard to get along with sometimes, because she tries to get you to do something, and you just get angry with her. She’s a sweet gal. She deserves better. You, my ex-friend, are a loser.
All this ‘biplar’ crap was invented by shrinks to make money. They diagnose everyone with biplar these days, because you can’t prove it one way or another, and they can have you on the hook, paying psych bills forever.
Bipolar! Right! It’s just an excuse, fella, and the sooner you stop making excuses and just stick with life, not give up every time something doesn’t go your way, the better. Think of your friends and family!
Well, do what you want, but as for me, I’m just about done with you. As far as I’m concerned, you might as well be dead. You are no good to me or anyone else.”

After I finished talking, I realized that the guy was not saying anything back…nothing at all. He just looked back at me, as though he agreed with everything I said. Then he hung his head for the longest time.

Then I looked back up at my reflection in the mirror. Tears were flowing.
“Is it true?”

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