When we wrote Bipolar Disorder for Dummies, we wanted to avoid ruffling any feathers, despite the fact that the “Dummies” series encourages the use of “irreverent humor.” In the spirit of remaining sensitive to our readers, we chose to refer to people with bipolar disorder as “people who have bipolar disorder” rather than “people who are bipolar.”
My wife and I recently had a discussion about this. She prefers telling people that she “is bipolar” for three reasons:
- It’s shorter.
- She identifies with the disorder, feeling as though it’s a part of who she is; for example, she’s bipolar just like she’s a red head. Saying she’s bipolar doesn’t mean that’s all she is any more than saying she’s a red head means that being a red head is the sum total of who she is.
- Having bipolar isn’t like having a cold – it’s not likely to go away anytime soon.
We began to wonder why this issue arises with bipolar disorder, but not with other illnesses, like cancer and diabetes. As is often pointed out by the “have bipolar” camp, a person would never say “I am cancer” or “I am diabetes,” so saying “I am bipolar” seems ridiculous… at least from their perspective.
As we compared different illnesses and conditions, however, we soon realized that the English language has no consistent way of referring to the fact that you have a medical condition. In the case of diabetes, for example, you can be diabetic or have diabetes without being diabetes. Likewise, you can have a peanut allergy or be allergic to peanuts without being an allergy. In these cases and other similar ones, the English language provides both a noun and adjective form, so you don’t end up being the disease you have.
The word “bipolar” is unique in that it functions as both a noun (short for bipolar disorder) and an adjective. As a result, both expressions I have bipolar disorder and I am bipolar are equally correct, linguistically speaking. Therefore, saying “So and so is bipolar” should be no more stigmatizing than saying “So and so is diabetic” or “I’m allergic to wheat.” You’re simply using an adjective to describe a condition you have.
I’ve seen plenty of heated discussions sparked by the mere fact that someone said or wrote that someone was bipolar rather than had bipolar, and the more I think about it, the more I wonder whether this is a real issue or something that we’ve chosen to make an issue. What do you think? When you tell people about bipolar, do you tend to say that you or someone you know is bipolar or has bipolar?
Without getting unduly philosophical about the issue, it’s possible that the cognitive and/or emotional manifestations of bipolar disorder are so intertwined with one’s personality and sense of self that the “I am bipolar” statement is preferred by some afflicted with the disorder, even while others make the distinction between self and disease.
Similar self-descriptions are associated with such disparate conditions as “I am short” (as opposed to “I had a developmental deficiency of growth hormone and/or a genetic predisposition to smaller stature”) or “I am deaf” (rather than “I have a hearing disorder”), although I assume there are those who make the argument that in all such cases we should distinguish the individual from the condition.
Personally, I think there is advantage in describing one as “having bipolar disorder,” especially since the adverse effects are often modulated by pharmacological or behavioral therapies. Saying “I am bipolar” gives the impression that the manifestations of the disorder are a constant rather than a disease that is often amenable to therapeutic intervention. On an individual level, either description would seem appropriate; when writing for public consumption, though, it is probably preferable to use “have bipolar.”
I’m not sure if I am bipolar or not. My doctor seems to think I am based on my husband’s complaint. I bought a business and its not doing well (I believe its our economy). My husband told my doctor that I have mood swings because I get along well with other, but not him and that I get really mad intermittently. My doctor said he was concerned that I was manic. I then told him the following true story. I told the doctor this: When I met my husband 20 years ago, he was a cheater. I forgave him and we raise his daughter (who is 3 weeks younger than my son) until she was 3. Her mother and I never got along. After her mother sent her to daycare, he was forced to pay child support. Years went by, about 12 years or so, which brought us to 2008. My husband told me in early in the year that he cheated on me with a woman. He met up and cheated with this woman not once, but twice. I’ve been mad ever since. Not with others, just him. I get mad when he brings certain things up and he acts like because it was 3 years ago, it should be old news to me. I don’t think I’m bipolar… I think I handled myself sanely (I’m still with him). He recently retired (and didnt’ tell me) and now is putting his money in a separate banking account, which made me mad again (because of his cheating past). He makes comments that I would be calmer if I took meds. He is the one actually driving me nutty!!! Tell me your thoughts PLEASE….
I use both, actually. Quite honestly, however, I feel like neither are completely accurate, and there probably isn’t a linguistics that can really describe the condition. Mostly I say that I’m bipolar because I do feel that who I am is not necessarily something I can seperate from it. And yes, it’s a lot shorter and easier to say. But depending on who I’m talking to, however, I’ll say that I have bipolar disorder. When I talk to Disabilities Services, for instance.
I think what it comes down to, for me, at least, is not the adjective/noun distinction. It’s not a matter of I am bipolar or I have bipolar; it’s really that I don’t have a disorder. Regardless of what other people may see, I don’t see the admission that “I am bipolar” necessitates that I have a chronic condition, while the idea that I have to admit that I have a “disorder” does bother me a little. “I have a bipolar brain” would be the most accurate way of putting it, and because the world is built for people with “not-bipolar brains,” I take medication and do CBT in order to be functional. And I’m a lot more functional, quite honestly, than a lot of non-bipolars I know, so I don’t see that disorder is the right word.
I think you all need to take a step back and ask your self what brought on these “mood swings”. What brought on these negative feelings in your life? This comment is for Monica. Your husband cheated on you. He’s obviously trying to control the situation and you. You are NOT “bipolar” These issues you are having is due to a lot of stress and hurt feelins. Lack of trust maybe? All of these things can make you get moody. It’s completely normal. So, don’t take medication because you don’t need it. None of you really do
I think it is better to say people who have bipolar disorder.
My son was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder last April. Here is a video he recently made.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS725dEbUFM
For the first 5 years of being stamped with the label bipolar, I assumed it was the only thing that defined me. I am bipolar and nothing else matters. It wasn’t until my hospitalization after my second major episode that I began to realize that there is life beyond the illness. I am more that just bipolar. I am lots of things. I don’t know how I forgot that once I discovered my madness had a name. But for me, I choose “I have bipolar” because it reminds me that I am not limited to the label.
In reality it doesn’t matter whether we are manic-depressives, bipolars, etc. The symptoms are the same. Sigma hurts, though. To me the best way to put it is saying “I am affected by bipolar disorder.” It’s long and to be used with “strangers.” I don’t like “I suffer from bipolar disorder.” I suffer if I choose to suffer, but I am affected whether I like it or not. And to me, it’s a gift. Double-edged gift, but it has allowed me to feel in touch with feelings and sensations that compounded experiences unheard of in the “normal” camp. Linguistically, a great part of the population of this country has adopted the expression “I am bipolar” as an ok way for us for self definition, I experience. Therefore, that’s it. I have more trouble with “my bipolar.”
In casual conversation (really!) with a co-worker about health issues I stated “…I’m bipolar…” and instantly I marveled in my head at how effortlessly the words rolled off my tongue. It was not a rehearsed bit of dialogue, simply something that seemed natural. Something benign, like talking about the weather. In retrospect I decided it felt good to: 1) disclose this personal information, and, 2) be able to say “I’m bipolar” seamlessly, without reservation.
My Life, The Realest Shit I ever Wrote
My Life, Dealing With Bi-polar, Depression, Acrophobia, Divorce, custody battles, street life, and a rise to the top again, but it still doesn’t matter.
A manic ride through my life. Witness good and bad, Subscribe because it is new and It will b updated daily. Take a trip in my head. 30 hits of acid years back combined with mental instability in my family produces what you will read.
I am bipolar. I’m also female, a brunette, short, funny, musical and a bad cook.
But when talking to others, I tell them I have bipolar disorder. Tomatoes, tomatoes really. I am a bad cook, I have poor cooking skills. Have bipolar seems easier for most people to understand. To people close to me, it doesn’t matter. They know what I am without a label.
I am both bipolar and diabetic. I don’t really care what you call the diagnosises as long as I remain under control. People spend too much time worrying about the labels.
i don’t tell people
This one is a hot-button for me today because I just got a really nasty email for someone taking me to task for saying “I am bipolar” on my Bipolar-Lives website. My own preference is “a person living with manic-depressive illness”, but sometimes that is just too much of a mouthful, and if you read the piece in context you will see I was borrowing from the classic 12 Step intro used at AA. I was surprised that of all the possible issues to discuss, someone would get so plugged in about the “I am bipolar” statement. Obviously some of us DO feel strongly that this is a demeaning or misleading form of self-identification. From my perspective it is MUCH more important to educate people about exactly what having a bipolar mood disorder really is. I feel that is teh main thing that will kill stigma and ead to more constructive and respectful discussions.
I’m not bipolar, that is just what other people call me.
Interesting a dummies book for bipolar… I don’t know about that, but I can’t say anything until I check it out, so good for you!
Per your question, I think I subconsiously say have or am, but I don’t feel that’s who I am, it’s something I have. I don’t like to make my whole world about bipolar either. In fact I’m writing a book and I’m trying to get over the barrier of covering bipolar (because it’s a major part of all the chaos I experienced for years) and not having it be ‘another’ bipolar memoir. However my story is quite different as I experienced most others with bipolar have not while manic.
Bipolar is a strange thing…however, I want to help so I’m looking for as many opportunities to speak or guest blog on bipolar subjects.
Check out my blog to see what you think.
http://www.jadecommunique.com
Thanks,
“Mea Nada Madison”
I had severe depression and several manic episodes between 2003 and 2005. I haven’t had any since. Am I bi-polar,or did I have bi-polar disorder? I don’t know. I feel like it could come back, that brain chemicals are pretty susceptible to other influences. By the way, it went away when I took a supplement from Canada called EmPower Plus from Truehope.com, though I have no way of knowing for sure it that was why it went away, just that it went away after I had been taking it for a few months.
Not only am I bipolar, I am bipolar I. In knowing and working with bipolar I and II patients, I am increasingly skeptical in the belief that there is a continuum between the two disorders. The differing symptoms and treatments have convinced me that they are discrete illnesses unfortunately sharing the same name. So, I have come to identify with being bipolar I and always make the distinction from my bipolar II cousins. The intensity and dangerousness of a clinicly manic episode endured by bipolar I individuals is the important cluster of symptoms that separates one diagnosis from the other in my mind. Also, in the 40 years I have been dealing with this illness I have found it difficult to locate and interact with others with bipolar I as most bipolars in support groups, on the internet, and treatment settings have bipolar II in my experience. Call me a bipolar snob but since we are talking about identifying with our disorder, I like to make it clear that I am bipolar I – the real bipolar illness ; ) .
Toph–
Thanks for the honesty. I love it – “bipolar snob.”
I am bipolar II. I certainly understand that bipolar I folks have an illness that can sometimes make my disorder seem hardly a problem (my “manic” episodes are barely noticeable). My late ex-wife was bipolar I, and I saw the illness at first hand. However, the net effect of bipolar II on my life has been debilitating. Hospital stays for severe depression including planning suicide; the feeling that I am worthless (in spite of a PhD and highly respected work); well–you all know the drill. My particular case is complicated (and I mean made very difficult to sort out) because I am also Temporal Lobe Epileptic. Which symptom is caused by which illness is sometimes up for grabs. So, while I understand that Bipolar I is in many ways a much more severe illness than mine, I hope you all will not forget that suffering comes in many forms—and so, thankfully does respite and help from competent doctors.
I did not intend to suggest that bipolar II is not a real disorder nor was I attempting to minimize the difficulties it may cause. Indeed, for some bipolar II individuals they seem to stuggle more with finding a cocktail of meds to manage their symptoms while, for me, simply taking lithium effectively controls my illness even with it’s extreme symptoms. As I hear talk of a new bipolar III diagnosis, I just wonder if everyone in this category has the same neurochemical pathology. I am glad nonetheless Harold that you have found some relief from your condition.
I am 11 and i have maria bipolar. I had a 70% probibility of having bipolar with someone having it in every generaton. My docter says it is to of aminor case to be treated with my insurence. I have mood swings during each day. Just a bump from someone else or someone slming a locker willmake me mad. Thinking of something sad makes me want toclime into a hole and cry. A good grade or good weather makes me fell invincible and on top of the world. I have no help and I hate my life.