Life in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic is challenging for everyone, but even more so for people living with bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety. In Bipolar Disorder For Dummies, I stress the importance of maintaining healthy routines and relationships, but when the government orders us to stay at home and social distance, following that advice is more challenging than ever. Daily routines fly out the window, and in-person visits with close friends and family members may not even be an option.
To make matters worse, TV and radio broadcasts are full of bad news about the coronavirus pandemic and the fraying economy, raising levels of fear, frustration, and grief. We often hear about a “new normal” that seems anything but normal and suggests a persistent bleakness. Fear of the unknown is a survival instinct, but it’s built for short-term imminent threats like lions leaping out of the bushes, not for the 24/7 news cycle. Chronic elevation of our alert system is exhausting. It drains our energy and often makes us tired and cranky without our ever realizing what’s causing us to feel so edgy.
You can find plenty of advice on how to more effectively manage mood symptoms, but much of this advice can feel overwhelming in itself and sound like “more of the same.” During this time, a simpler, gentler approach may be more effective.
In this post, I present four simple ways to maintain mood stability in these challenging times.
1. Be kind to yourself.
Over the last couple of months, I have repeated one sentence over and over to myself, my family, my patients, and my friends: “Be kind to yourself, no matter what.”
Self-compassion — kind words to yourself — helps save bandwidth and keeps you a step away from a negative spiral. It’s a powerful tool.
So if you feel like you can’t get anything done — if you can’t follow routines or you feel that you’re sleeping too little or too much, you’re irritable, you’re dodging phone calls and eating comfort food all day, you’re crying a lot, or whatever you feel you’re doing wrong that you’re beating yourself up over — try talking to yourself like you might talk to a friend. Try words of forgiveness, acceptance, and encouragement. Remind yourself that, no matter what, you still deserve to be loved and respected by yourself and others.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others.
All those people on Instagram with their exercise routines and daily walks and meditation — they’re struggling too, in their own way. Everyone struggles. No one has it all figured out. No one. We don’t know their full story, and no one knows yours.
One of the most common “thought errors” that comes into play in treating depression and anxiety is that “Everyone else has it together except me.” This has always been a tough one to get rid of — and it has become even more difficult in an era of Instagram and Facebook and YouTube. It seems like everyone’s life is all happy and put together. But those are curated stories made to present the happy/good stuff. It’s a bias — people don’t usually post the ugly crying-in-the-car moments. Or the screaming-at-the-TV or at-the-computer moments. Or the hiding-in-the-couch-in-pajamas-for-three-days moments.
Your story is complicated, and human, and no less than anyone else’s. Living with a mood disorder such as bipolar is a challenge that many people will never experience. Other people have other challenges in their lives; we don’t know them. But people don’t know yours either.
3. Start very small.
Start with the smallest steps you can take. One minute of a big body stretch. Take a nap if you’re tired. Eat if you’re hungry. Listen to a song you love. Count five breaths; in fact, do it right now: Turn off your screen for a few minutes, mute your cell phone, stand up for a minute or two, and take five slow breaths, breathing through your nose. Connect with a friend — even for a moment — even a text if not a call.
4. Ask for help.
Your care team, your family, your friends — they want to support you, but they need to know you need help. Don’t try to tough this out.
If you can’t go to the pharmacy, and you are running out of meds, let someone know. If you’re unsure about your doctor or therapist appointments, call or email them and find out what’s happening — maybe they’re doing telemedicine and can schedule a session with you over the phone.
If you’re struggling financially, reach out to someone. There are resources and help but they can take time and energy that you may not have right now, so let others help you.
You have nothing to be ashamed of — asking for help is a key skill in managing bipolar and other mood disorders. It’s not something you have to do alone.
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