The question of whether to disclose one’s bipolar disorder to an employer often causes anxiety for the person with the illness. Of course, it shouldn’t be that way. If you were ill with cancer or suffered some physical disability, you would probably disclose it without reservation, but with a mental illness, people often fear the very real possibility of being stigmatized.
At work, the stigma can manifest itself in a number of ways, including getting passed over for promotions or having co-workers attribute certain things you say or do (things that would be considered normal for others) to the illness. In even more serious cases, an employer may consider you a liability and seek ways to terminate your employment—something that would be illegal under the Americans with Disabilities Act but could still cause problems for you.
In the best case scenarios with employers who understand bipolar disorder and value their employees, disclosing your condition can benefit you in several ways:
- You no longer have to carry the burden of hiding your illness.
- You become eligible under the Americans with Disabilities Act for special accommodations.
- Your supervisor and any co-workers you tell may be more willing and able to offer assistance if they understand what’s going on.
In addition, many people in the community feel that disclosing is not only the best thing but also the right thing to do. By disclosing your condition and not allowing others to stigmatize you, you become an activist working toward making your workplace and your corner of the world more accepting and understanding of mental health issues.
We cannot tell you whether disclosing your bipolar disorder is the right thing or the best thing in your particular situation, but we would like to open the topic for discussion. What we would like to know is if anyone reading this has chosen to disclose their condition to their employer and what happened as a result? Do you regret the decision? Were you pleasantly surprised at the acceptance you received? Would you recommend that others with bipolar disorder tell or not tell?
Please read all the following. It has a twist at the end.
I recently talked to a guy, someone I used to call a friend, who says he is bipolar. Now, this guy seems smart enough, and able enough to me. He has accomplished many things in his life, but he often starts things he doesn’t finish, too. He always seems to come just short of really completing anything right…the way it should be done.
He told me about how depressed he gets, then how he will go on a binge of doing everything and anything he can get into for a while, then for a month or so he just doesn’t feel like getting out of bed.
So I told him, “Old buddy, you have to get over it…and get over yourself. Your problem is that it’s all about you. If you don’t get just exactly what you want, you lay down and quit. You are lazy. That’s what it is. I’ve seen you do some really great things. Just look at that beautiful deck you built. Man, you’ve just about remodeled your whole house, but it’s taken you years to do it. Me, I like to get in, get things done, and get out of it. You work a while, then quit a while. It’s the same on the job.” (I work with this guy) “You work hard, and get a lot done for a week or so, then you start showing up late, looking like you just got out of bed, and barely carry your weight at work. Are you drinking heavily in the evenings?
Even your girlfriend says you are really hard to get along with sometimes, because she tries to get you to do something, and you just get angry with her. She’s a sweet gal. She deserves better. You, my ex-friend, are a loser.
All this ‘biplar’ crap was invented by shrinks to make money. They diagnose everyone with biplar these days, because you can’t prove it one way or another, and they can have you on the hook, paying psych bills forever.
Bipolar! Right! It’s just an excuse, fella, and the sooner you stop making excuses and just stick with life, not give up every time something doesn’t go your way, the better. Think of your friends and family!
Well, do what you want, but as for me, I’m just about done with you. As far as I’m concerned, you might as well be dead. You are no good to me or anyone else.”
After I finished talking, I realized that the guy was not saying anything back…nothing at all. He just looked back at me, as though he agreed with everything I said. Then he hung his head for the longest time.
Then I looked back up at my reflection in the mirror. Tears were flowing.
“Is it true?”
When my wife’s moods are stabilized, she functions like her old self and is sorry for how she acted when she was ill. I always have to think about that when I get angry with her over what she says and does when she’s manic or teetering on the edge of mania. Trying to separate the disorder from the person is terribly difficult for loved ones. It must be even more difficult for the person who has bipolar disorder. Try to be patient with yourself. Treat the bipolar disorder first. Sort out the other stuff when your moods are more stable.
After some years of looking for help, I was diagnosed as bipolar 2 after several sessions with one of the most highly regarded practitioners in the city (much of his practice is other doctors and health practitioners).
There was the usual experimental period to find my current modest mix of medications and I’m really glad to be more or less functional so much more of the time these days.
I told the people I work for, and I’ve told others that I work closely with here and across the country. In some ways it wasn’t a big deal- I think having grown up around nurses (mom, aunt, their friends) I was raised with a pretty pragmatic approach to health and health care issues including methods of treatment, and that’s the tone I used when I told them.
That said, I think for some of them it just went right past them- not that they don’t care but they don’t really know what it is. Going into a recitation on my history, symptoms and treatment didn’t seem appropriate then, but now I’m starting to think that it might be a good next step.
Our organization is going thru some changes, and some of the next steps being proposed just aren’t going to work for me because I am bipolar and I am on medication and that’s not going to change- but if these next steps don’t take these two simple facts into consideration, then the current proposed “solutions” are not going to work like they seem to think they will… and I’ll end up being perceived as someone with an attitude, as opposed to someone with a medical condition.
Drawing attention to it again, and giving them a few details as to symptoms etc is pretty scary actually because these people can have a huge influence on my livelihood, my ability to provide for my family and on to self esteem, etc etc.
In most cases, though, when I have told people I haven’t been scared about it… even when I see the weird changes and unfavourable reactions in their eyes as I do. I totally agree with those who say NOT saying anything is way worse. It sustains all the dark power that ignorance can breed, and gives these words far more weight than they should have.
Phil,
Speechless! Your little twist at the end really hit home with me.
Thank you for writing what you did. I understand what that’s like, and I too have had a similar conversation with my reflection.
Thank you for posting that. It made a difference to me knowing I am NOT the only person that goes through that.
Thank you,
Nate
Everyone who posted above I really enjoyed reading your words. It’s helpful to me to read what I also think and feel. I do need the reminder to be patient with myself and also summon strength to fight against the damage of ignorance and stigma.
Once I had a great part time job and really thrived in the office with my coworkers. There was a position just above mine on the pay scale opening up and I applied for it, with the blessing of my coworkers. Unfortunately, my relationship and living situation became stressful, and my bipolar began to flare, increasing my absences to work and making it hard to come in to work with a cheery disposition. I was actually downright unstable and unreliable. I went in to have a conference with my boss when I was passed up for the job and told her I was struggling with a potential bipolar episode due to cost of living and relationship stress. She was shocked and asked me, ‘Oh, do you have bipolar disorder?’ She told me she wished I had disclosed the information because she really wanted me to have the position and my recent behavior would have been explained instead of interpreted as irresponsibility, lessening my chances of getting the promotion. Also, I would have been given appropriate time off in order to get well. In this case I wish I had been more open with my boss. I don’t think bosses like her are very common, unfortunately. If ever I am someone’s boss I will be as kind and respectful as she was. I ended up moving back near my Mother and therapist, two critical pieces of my support network that I thank the Universe for! 🙂