Family and friends of people with bipolar disorder often wonder what they can do to help when their loved one is hospitalized due to a major mood episode. The short answer is to do what you would normally do when a loved one is in the hospital for any illness:
- Call
- Visit
- Send a card (include your phone number in case the person wants to call you – they may not have access to their cell phone or address book, but they can usually call out… if they have your number)
- Send flowers (request that they be sent in a plastic vase)
- Find out whether the person needs anything
Even a brief stay in a hospital or mental health facility can make your loved one feel alone and abandoned. Let them know you’re here for them and you care.
It’s not right, but mental illness still carries a stigma. You may be unclear about the right way to act or what to say or not say. The best approach is to simply call or send a card to let your loved one know that you’re thinking about them and ask whether you can do anything to help. You don’t have to say anything about why the person is there. If your loved one wants to discuss it, he or she will bring it up.
When people are admitted to a mental health facility, especially if the admission is forced, they’re often admitted only with the clothes on their back. Bringing them little things that make them feel more comfortable, more human, more like individuals, often helps. Remember, however, that what your loved one can have in their possession may be strictly limited. Here are some do’s and don’ts:
- Do bring clothes and footwear (including slippers) – nothing with strings or laces or belts. Bring something warm, like a sweatshirt or sweaters with any strings removed.
- Don’t bring anything in a glass container.
- Don’t bring anything that the person could use to harm himself or herself, such as metal objects – knife, scissors, nail clippers, shaving razors, etc. Even if your loved one is not prone to self-harm and does not pose a danger to others, someone else at the facility may pose a risk.
- Do bring makeup and fragrant oils (instead of perfume) that do not contain alcohol and that are in plastic containers. Most perfumes will be banned because they contain alcohol, but oils may be allowed.
- Don’t bring anything that contains alcohol or is flammable, including nail polish or nail polish remover.
- Do bring inexpensive jewelry, if your loved one would like it.
- Don’t bring jewelry that your loved one would miss greatly if lost. Valuables may disappear for whatever reason.
- Do bring money. The facility is likely to have vending machines, so consider bringing a roll or two of quarters.
- Do/don’t bring cigarettes. I don’t condone smoking, but if your loved one smokes, as many people in mental health facilities do, then they’ll want some cigarettes.
Important: Before you visit, try to find out whether your loved one wants you to visit. Ask your loved one whether he or she needs you to bring anything. (You may want to speak with a nurse if you have any questions about items that are allowed or prohibited.) When visiting, steer clear of any potentially sensitive topics that could upset your loved one. Keep the conversation light.
For additional tips on how to make a hospital stay more pleasant and productive, check out “Enduring a Pound of Cure: Hospitalization,” in Chapter 3 of Bipolar Disorder For Dummies.
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