Encouraging a Family Member to Get Help

Recently, Susan posted the following question on our Post a Question page:

Question: I believe that my sister is bipolar. She has all the symptoms. She is 36 and has two kids. I have tried talking with her about seeing a doctor but she seems to think she doesn’t need any help. I just worry about her, and I would love some advice on how to handle the situation without losing a sister.

Answer: This is an excellent question and reveals a dilemma that family members commonly face. It sounds like your sister has not had any formal consultation or diagnosis yet, so you are right on target when you suggest that she see a doctor. Since she is rejecting that idea outright – and rejecting the idea of any of the troubles that you see – it may be best to approach her in a more questioning, curious mode – exploring with her what trouble she might see in her life – seeing if there is anything that she can identify as a problem – even if she doesn’t see that her behavior has a role in it – it is a start of a conversation.

If there are any things that she can identify – even physical symptoms or aches and pains or sleep troubles perhaps – maybe she would consider seeing her internist or family doctor – at least as a start. At some point, if she is completely unwilling to seek help or see any problems, you may have to step back and leave things alone – unless there is a risk of harm to herself or others. Providing support and encouragement to her children can sometimes be the only thing you can do – but it is a very important role to play.

You can’t make her get help – you can simply be as supportive as your situation allows and gently bring things up if it seems reasonable to do, but there is only so much you can do.

Remember, suspecting that bipolar is the cause is just that – suspecting. Bipolar disorder or something completely unrelated to it could be at work. The important thing is for your sister to seek assistance from someone who’s qualified to identify the root cause and then provide proper treatment.

Best of luck in this journey, and thank you for asking an excellent question.